My whole life it seems all of my friends have always come to me for advice. It could be the fact that I attract freaks with bigger problems than my own, or the fact that I have an old soul and act as though I am older and wiser although some days I feel like a kid in a woman's body. They come to me... to seek advice, help to handle their catastrophes and crisis. Why me? I don't have all the answers, I don't even try to sound like I know what the hell I'm talking about so.... why me?
They come to me when their children or themselves are sick. My "extensive" medical training includes a Nursing Assistant Certificate which means I can take your pulse, blood pressure, and temperature and then clean up your body when your dead. 10 years experience in hospitals and nursing homes doing just that. I wanted to go for Nursing at one point but then quickly realized that I would not be happy in that field. 2 Emergency Medical Technician Classes, 1 of which I quit after my 5th class because life got in the way. During the second class I was working 2 jobs (7 days a week) and taking care of my 2 kids. I missed too many classes and although I ended the class with a passing grade I was not allowed to be certified because of the missing classes. I then started a pre med program to become a pathologist (I wanted to cut open dead people). As you can see I am completely NOT qualified to diagnose anyone with anything other than a fever.
They come to me for helping in solving their problems. I hear about everything from depression, suicidal thoughts, alcoholism, lost their jobs, not able to cope with everyday life. NEWSFLASH: I am bipolar, the epitome of being screwed up in the head. Do you really think I know how to handle these things? Of course my "extensive" psychiatric training which includes a 1 semester class on psych 101 is surely enough to allow me to diagnose and treat any and all psychiatric problems, right? Hell no! Granted I got a 4.0 in the class but all I can tell you is bits and pieces of the history of psychology and a little bit about different disorders. But still my friends come to me. They lay back on my couch and tell me all their woes while I say "uh huh" and "how did that make you feel?".
What I Do Know
|I really should get paid for this!|